Light of Death
by IndustrialSoup
Summary: A written up version of chapter 101: 'Light of Death' from the Elfen Lied manga.


_AN: I quite fancy a writing exercise and I simply love Elfen Lied. This is a chapter from the manga. I find it absolutely devastating that the anime stopped before the manga finished. It answers so many necessary questions and is just simply astounding. So, here it is._

Elfen Lied: Chapter 101

"You... What have you done...?"

Stunned, Kaede could only force herself to hold back tears. What exactly had happened, she didn't know herself. If she couldn't understand, then Kouta definitely wouldn't. But she still had that naïve shred of hope. The hope that just maybe, Kouta would be the special one, the only one who would believe what she had to say.

That is why she fought back. "You've got it wrong! I didn't do anything!"

From the start, it was a hopeless wish. The fact that Kouta couldn't even look her in the eye was evidence enough that the truth would not get through to him.

"You... in the end..." His face was dampening due to falling tears. It would have been worse for him to shout at her, to scream – anything but crying. To show genuine disappointment, to prove that he actually had faith in her, was more than she could bare. "You just couldn't stop killing...?"

She held a shaking hand towards her throat to stop herself from choking out sobs, but she was so concerned about the trembling boy that her hand stopped at her breast and formed a fist. Her eyes wide, she watched as he lowered his head and grabbed onto the wall in a sad attempt to keep his strength.

"I was thinking that we could live together..." His eyes shut, unable to register the betrayal. "Thinking that I should believe in you... but you just betrayed me so easily..."

Kouta was naïve, ignorant and unaware of the truth. Kaede didn't have enough time to explain it to him that she wasn't a murderer: she was nothing but a slave. Her DNA was the proof of her shackles and although he didn't have the key to save her from her unavoidable fate, he had least had the sledgehammer to attempt to break her free.

"That's not right..." Her voice was weak and she debated whether it even reached Kouta's ears. "I... I was trying to protect our promise. Even if it meant death -!"

"If that's the case, _then what the hell is this_?"

Originally, lovers, admirers and other such fancies picture their other half to be the only person on Earth who would never raise their voice to them. For Kaede to hear Kouta's shrieking voice, poisoned with hate and sadness – and all aimed at her - made her forget her threat to Kurama, her debt towards her DNA and her duty to her ancestor. She could only stand there, covered in nothing but his anorak, shaking with disbelief and fear.

"You... are capable of hurting people indiscriminately..." Kouta's voice was determined, but still growing faint due to his wound. Why didn't he understand her passion for his well-being? Had it been up to her, she would have given her life for his in a heart beat. He was now throwing it back into her face.

"No... you've got it all wrong." Useless words spilled from Kaede's mouth. Unable to conjure up a sensible reason, she could only deny Kouta's accusations. Kurama, stewing in his own pool of blood, watched as her entire body shook uncontrollably.

"I don't understand it either... Why things... came down to this..."

Why had things turned out the way they had? Why was she so incapable of bringing joy? Old memories that refused to fade lashed back at her, reminding her of her rejection. Had she been wrong? Did Kouta really just hate her for her horns? Could he really not understand that it wasn't her decision to wield her weapon?

"I was stupid enough to believe in you."

The proof was in his retort. He wouldn't listen to her pleas. He would only look at her horns and judge.

"I _hate_ you."

Nobody, not even the boy whom she loved so dearly, wanted her. Because of her horns, she was alone. The beast was thrown away by even the most adoring beauty.

"Don't ever show your face to me again!"

His words, along with her rambling thoughts, cast her into a darkness that only one who had suffered so much could experience. Her memories, his last parting gift, her devastation, spun together to bring back to life a voice whom she hated to love. The voice of comfort was lathered with hidden thorns that only appeared when the music reached her ears. Music... it was like hearing a badly covered version of a masterpiece.

_Told you... He finally said it, didn't he...?_

She didn't have the guts to face the music and instead stood rooted to the ground, doing nothing but letting her tears fall free. From behind her stood her inner demon, a carbon copy of the young girl who had endured the most pain. It chose this shell for the exact reason that Keade knew she could not refuse. This copy reminded her of her sorrow, of the betrayal she was forced to suffer.

_You have no place to live among humans._

Not only did this cast off duplicate her former self, the 'beginning', one could call it, of her suffering, but it also brought her back to the place where she had realised this hatred. Beautiful trees framed a disgusting stone that protected an innocent victim, reminding her of a traumatic past. Her blood couldn't help but boil.

_If I didn't use our power, you would have been killed already._

Disgusting truths she didn't want to hear.

_There's no reason for it, but you continue to blame yourself like that. As long as the world doesn't change..._

As long as the world didn't change, Kaede would have every door slammed on her face.

_And for that... we have to increase in numbers._

It was the only logical explanation. If somebody kicks you down, you jump back up and kick them harder. That was the game she was playing and 'game over' wasn't an option.

_My other self... spread my DNA throughout the world..._

"No."

Turning around to face Lucy for the first time, Kaede dared to question her motives. "Who attacked Kurama?"

Kaede's hatred towards Kurama was unaltered, but if Kouta wished for her to forgive, then that is what she would do. Lucy didn't love Kaede like Kouta did. Lucy was selfish and was merely using Kaede as a tool to gain what she wanted.

_...You want to break the promise?_

_My enemy is not humans..._

A small smile crept on Lucy's face as Kaede, for the first time, turned back on her instinct. She would not act like an animal and obey her instincts. She would not bow down like a slave. Her hands reached out to grab the neck of the shell of herself as a child. The voice she had been forced to love was now something she had finally had the choice to destroy.

_The enemy is inside of me..._

It was already too late.

"Nyuu!"

For as long as Kaede knew Kouta, she wished for his voice to utter her name. She at least had the good fortunate of being labelled as 'Lucy' whilst kept as a test subject, sparing herself of hearing her real name being uttered by those whose only intentions were to hurt her, although it didn't give her a good feeling in her heart whenever it was spat at her. At first, she had loathed the name 'Nyuu'. It was a ridiculous sound which she was embarrassed to have spoken, and yet Kouta and the rest of her friends had given it to her as her name. Over time, she had begun to like it as it served as a reminder that she could live with Kouta and that he would really love her, even if it wasn't her true self.

The word 'Nyuu' never sounded so good until now.

Kouta shrieked out her fake name, desperation and passion dripping from his voice. But the scene that greeted her was far from it. Kouta's pained face stared at hers, blood oozing from his lips as he took the bullet that had her name written all over it. Blood splattered over her face and it wasn't until Kouta fell to the floor did she realise what had happened. Kurama glared at the two teenagers with determination, a gun clutched in his blood drenched hand. For a brief moment, Kaede saw the young girl who had died at her expense before the reality of her true love fell to the floor, twisting in agony.

"_Kouta_!"

She fell to the floor beside him, grabbing at his chest with her trembling hand. New tears fell onto his shirt as she shook him frantically, trying to get him to recover from the unnecessary wound.

"Kouta! Pull yourself together!"

Kaede had already wrapped the blindfold around her eyes, ready for the guillotine. She had already tied the belt around her arm for the lethal injection and she had already faced Kurama to take the bullet.

So why, when Kouta had blatantly told her to, had he intervened?

"Why... Why did you protect me?" Kaede shut her eyes in a pathetic attempt to avoid the situation. No matter how much she wished, she could not change this state of affairs. "Even though you said... that you hated me so much..."

"I already... hated Kanae."

The image of that tiny girl, so adorable and pretty, like a porcelain doll, her beautiful face wet with tears, hit Kouta's mind at full force.

"It's all because of my selfishness," Kouta's voice was racked with desperate gulps for air. The blood in his mouth forced his words to be dulled slightly, although he couldn't let anything take this moment from him. "I made Kanae mad. No matter how much I regretted it... Yet I made the same mistake again. If you died like this... I would have to regret it again."

So... it wasn't as Kaede expected. She had no choice but to face reality.

"You saw him pointing the gun, that's why..." The undeniable truth tasted like poison on her tongue. "So you were only protecting yourself then? Oh Kouta..."

"Don't worry, I'm fine," Kouta replied with a small smile. His face was lathered with sweat and blood but he couldn't help but reassure the woman whom he despised so much. "I've been shot a lot lately, but I've survived."

_That girl back then died._

No longer in her arms was Kouta but that girl again. Only for a split second before thrusting her back into reality: her failure to save her only friend haunted her. How could she let it go again?

The easiest answer was that she wouldn't.

_Enough already!_

She wasn't stupid enough to ignore a valuable lesson like that. She was a quick learner, even if she was too stubborn to accept some truths.

_I won't forgive the people that hurt the ones I love..._

She would save Kouta from an undeserved death, even if it meant her own ticket to hell.


End file.
